I take it all back…

I’m recanting my testimony regarding the new Billy Idol CD. It’s, not surprisingly, horrible.

*** New CD Release! *** Hottest Band in Nanaimo! *** Available Now! *** etc etc blah blah blah

 

  

 AVAILABLE TUESDAY MARCH 28TH 2005
THE DEBUT EP BY NANAIMO’S HOTTEST INDIE-POP / DANCE-PUNK SENSATIONS:  
THE CLAP
References Bordering On Plagiarism

1. With Love + Squalor
2. All The White Belts In The World Couldn’t Make You Attractive
3. As Luck Would Have It
4. Milk + Strawberries
5. White Belts (electro mix)$10 CND
Write to:
arachnidiscs@hotmail.com

or buy it at Fascinating Rhythm, Commercial
Street, downtown Nanaimo.

Retarded survey

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF – The Survey
Name:	J N R
Birthday:	Eleven Thirty Seventy two
Birthplace:	Richmond
Current Location:	Nanaimo
Eye Color:	The blues
Hair Color:	Other
Height:	5′ 3.75″
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right
Your Heritage:	Nazi’s and Scottsmen
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Police boots
Your Weakness:	Cheese, chocolate, music.
Your Fears:	Eviseration
Your Perfect Pizza:	The exact opposite of any “perfect pizza” featured by the freaks on Panago commercials.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Money, that’s what I want.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	ROFL
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Did I hide the evidence well enough?
Your Best Physical Feature:	My presence
Your Bedtime:	12:30
Your Most Missed Memory:	I can’t remember
Pepsi or Coke:	Ginger ale
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Delicado’s
Single or Group Dates:	Pair
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	What a wide range of choices we have here in North America.
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Both at once.
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Cappuccino IS coffee, technically. This survey sucks.
Do you Smoke:	I’m smoking because I have set myself on fire.
Do you Swear:	Heck, yeah.
Do you Sing:	Yes.
Do you Shower Daily:	I shower only on most days I leave the house.
Have you Been in Love:	Yes.
Do you want to go to College:	Been there, done that.
Do you want to get Married:	I want to be married, getting married… not so much.
Do you belive in yourself:	I exist, yes.
Do you get Motion Sickness:	I don’t understand the concept at all.
Do you think you are Attractive:	I attract flies.
Are you a Health Freak:	I am trying to live healthier.
Do you get along with your Parents:	Yes. Mostly. I think my dad thinks I’m bi-polar.
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Sure.
Do you play an Instrument:	Several.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Yes.
In the past month have you Smoked:	I lit myself on fire only once.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	Pain killers.
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Yes. The Dante Hicks dinner and amovie date.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	The movie was at the mall. Didn’t technically enter the mall.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	I WISH!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	I’ve beaten Sushi, the neighbor’s shitzu.
In the past month have you been on Stage:	No.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	No.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Ideas.
Ever been Drunk:	I’m not a liquid.
Ever been called a Tease:	Yes.
Ever been Beaten up:	Beaten down, but not up.
Ever Shoplifted:	Yes. A Boston “Third Stage” cassette in 1985 from Woodwards.
How do you want to Die:	I’d like to slowly fade into the wallpaper.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	I am grown up.
What country would you most like to Visit:	Morocco.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	Gold (only seen it once)
Favourite Hair Color:	Red
Short or Long Hair:	Depends on their bone structure.
Height:	Short
Weight:	I have no idea.
Best Clothing Style:	Any non-sporty style.
Number of Drugs I have taken:	In the last 24 hours?
Number of CDs I own:	Why does that matter?
Number of Piercings:	Piercings are gross.
Number of Tattoos:	Tattoos are ridiculous.
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	I’m more concerned with future regrets.
CREATE YOUR OWN! – or – GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

An amateur band rehearsing in a nearby yard

My procrastination in the hair cut arena has left me with Bruce Foxton’s mod-mullet.

After some subtle hinting, I was lead to disturbing imagery on The Clap site.

I was about to take a sip of my coffee, rim of cup centimeters from my lips, when Chelsea said, “What are you doing? You didn’t put coffee in there did you? I used that cup to scoop out my foot-water.”

I purchased some “Rustic Fiber Bread” today. It was very rustic, somewhat like siding from an old barn.

Devil’s Playground

Defying all expectations, Billy Idol’s new album is surprisingly listenable. Or at least surprising in that the contrived Gen-X/Rebel Yell redux approach is somewhat successful if not merely boring. Strangely, the last four songs unexpectedly drift into Cash/Petty territory.

Shatner is 74 plus a day.

Last night we celebrated William Shatner’s birthday with dinner and a movie. The movie was A Very Long Engagement” which was quite good. Except Audrey Tautou is obviously much closer to 30 than 20 so you have to suspend disbelief there to the point where you have to wonder what Jeunet was thinking — other than “The yanks liked Amelie, let’s get the gang back together.”

Ken thinks I’m hiding something from him. I am not. Nothing that’s any of his business anyway.

Ideas for the most spectacular CD release PR stunt should be forwarded to Ken or I.

I can’t believe I just realised that The Black Hole

was just a futuristic retelling of 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea.

Only with Anthony Perkins and without Kirk Douglas in a ridiculous sailor’s outfit.

Yes, and thanks, for the trouble you took from her eyes

It’s been a rough week. But things are slowly healing.

And dinner with my parentals was in the neighborhood of good. My mother’s birthday, Friends Lounge. I ate the Pork Africano. After wards, family photos á la Royal Tannenbaums.

I believe there are, officially, more Clap buttons than songs.

There’s music on Clinton Street all through the evening.

In the new Hot Hot Heat video, Steve Bays looks exactly like Kelen Porter. So much so, I believed it to be said Canadian Idol winner’s attempt to sound like the Strokes.

I’ve lately gotten back into cassette tapes. Probably entirely due to Steve L. giving me boxes of free tapes. Fascinating is getting out of the audio tape business in a big way.

I also have a box of 45’s waiting for me to take home, in exchange for LP’s and CD’s. Picture sleeve 45’s are the only records worth collecting. I don’t know why.

I’m writing you now just to see if you’re better

The first week of my lifestyle revision has gone swimmingly. I actually feel healthier. But then, I just got over a cold too. Chelsea has it now, after a week of drinking out of my cups and stuff. I can’t believe it took her so long to catch up.

Manufacturing of The Clap CD will commence this weekend.