Ice Ice Planter

April 25, 2011

Some people will tell you, Vanilla Ice is the only surefire scarecrow. Works on racoons and small children  too.

Boston Cream

April 21, 2011

Click to embiggen.

Boston Terriers are not permitted to stand in front of cupcake swirls.

Junction of Eden

April 19, 2011

Click to embiggen.

Something I miss about living in Little Malta (a.k.a. The Junction) are the really tasteful garden displays.

In case you were wondering, the story here is if you pour virgin’s blood into the fountain under the full moon, the animals come to life. Don’t ask what happens to the boot.

Ask An Athiest Day

April 13, 2011

Today is, apparently, the National (as in USA) Ask An Atheist Day.

As an atheist, this somewhat perplexes me. I’m not one hundred percent certain what would be the point of someone asking me anything about atheism. Actually, I’m not even 47% certain.

The SSA (Secular Students Association) website says: “National Ask An Atheist Day (April 13th) is an opportunity for secular groups across the country to work together to defeat stereotypes about atheism and encourage courteous dialogue between believers and non believers alike.  The event is intended to be an opportunity for the general public – particularly people of faith – to approach us and ask questions about secular life.”

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A babe-filled life awaits you

April 1, 2011

Babe-filled life: a spam folder soliloquy

A babe-filled life awaits you
Discreet hookups
Wild fast hookups
Facebook or Fuckbook?
Hookup tonight
Be the Pied Piper of chicks
Booze, babes and more

Give her more of your love rod
Smell sweeter below the belt
Hear ladies scream in bed
Change your life in 60 seconds
Find out how you can start making $6487 a month at home
Ass rimming the easy way

It is your turn to try the online pharmacy
You will love the results on your organ
Grow a big package today
It’s not hard to lengthen
Have the pecker of her dreams

There are certain factors that can interfere
with a man’s enjoyment of sex
Make her a happy camper
Bang her hard and make her moan
Be the master of the bed
Stop the embarrassment today
She is just being nice

Why do you need penis pills?
If you choose the right penis
enhancement pills that work for you,
you will find yourself unwilling to go back
to how sex used to be

The appearance of your penis will arouse your sex partners
She will surely pounce on you
Cockzilla is the word
Boobs as big as balloons
Progress from love guru to sex magnet
Enlarge your pole with wonder pills

We know your value
Feel yourself a sexual superman
and explore new angles of her bedroom
Your package is set to grow
Make her come again and again
Tsunami warning

What about love?

This poem was constructed from subject lines found in my email spam filter. All words verbatim, only spelling was corrected.

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