December 13, 2010

Mr. Dapper’s fiction Twitter was resussitated last week with the start of a new project. Driftworld is a novella to be written 140 characters at a time over the course of 2011.

The story so far…


It all began, as these stories so often do, with a young woman who smelled of vanilla and a man who didn’t know his left from his right.

“Is anyone sitting here?” she said, indicating any one of the empty seats at his table in the ghostly quiet cafeteria.

He began to sweat.

He glanced at her out of the furthermost corner of his eye. Her orange hair reminded him of the haystacks in a Monet he’d seen as a student.

He could feel her smiling as she opened her carton fo milk. The tips of his ears flushed at the sound of the plastic straw parting her lips. He wondered why she hadn’t seated herself then realized she patiently awaited his reply.

He said, “These seats are all taken.”

She sat down.

And as she lowered herself onto the hard, red plastic chair, that was when the scent of vanilla wafted over him like a splash of cream. The pupils of his sage grey eyes dilated like nostrils flaring. He made a concerted effort not to notice her bustline or to breathe.

Having failed in his first goal, failure in the second became inevitable and he began to hyperventilate.

She said, “It’s the bomb isn’t it?”

*   *   *

Follow Mr. Dapper’s Twitter feed for daily* updates or visit the Driftworld page for weekly compliations.

* Mon-Fri, not including the days it doesn’t happen at all.

TwitFic #7: Heavy Drinker

February 8, 2010

He drank constantly. Liquids flowed through him like a river snaking through the humid body of a dense tropical rainforest.

He drank milk.

He drank water.

He drank beer and wine and pomegranate juice.

For lunch he drank yogurt and he’d liquefy his evening meals. He even went so far as to buy a small, portable blender which he brought to restaurants and turned cheeseburgers and samosas into smoothies. After years of not eating solid foods, he had his teeth removed by a dentist in Mexico.

While convalescing at a resort, he washed down several crushed codeine pills with tap water and died from the consequential blood infection.

Visit Mr. Dapper’s Twitter for stories told 140 characters per day.

Catooine and Kunta Laforge

March 18, 2009

No one cared about Geordi, originally uploaded by Ampersand Photography.

» On the weekend Mandi and I made our second ridiculous cake. This time it was a Star Trek cake. The crew of the NCC-1701-D travel to the planet of Catooine and face feline danger. As you can see, Geordi didn’t make it out alive. More photos with a story to go along in this gallery.

» Speaking of Geordi Laforge, on Nerd Hurdles episode #9 we talk about celebs who are using Twitter. We of course specifically talk about meeting Levar Burton at his famous Tweet-up in Toronto. The episode is a bit of a mess as it was recorded in two parts and an hour of material ended up on the cutting room floor. Something about this subject made us a bit crazy.

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