Respectacled, Waffled + Glittered


The Light May Glitter (cover)
Originally uploaded by Ampersand Photography.

» Last night I went to Respectacle. Which was respectacular. Mandi forces middle-school kids to put on a mean show. The tiny girl doing the running man during their rendition of "Mr. Wendle" was my favourite part.

»This morning we played hooky and went to the strangest wafflehouse in Ghettobicoke. Firstly the windows are tinted orange. Well, not "tinted" so much as covered in vibrant orange plastic. Upon entering, wondering if you’ll be able to handle the orange windows, you realize the furniture is also entirely done in this vibrant, dayglo orange colour. That’s merely quirky.

The menu is where the serious strangeness begins to kick in. The breakfast menu is your standard combos of waffles, bacon, eggs, sausage, hashbrowns, etc. Several items were denoted as being "wafflicious." All seemed normal but then we noticed the lunch and dinner menu featured pizza and hamburgers. Not too strange until you read the fine print when it goes on to explain the pizza is tomato sauce and mozzarella on a waffle. And the burger is an all-beef patty, lettuce and tomato in between two waffles. There was also the "Flying Waffle" which was a waffle with chicken wings on it. We stuck to the breakfast menu.

This didn’t save us from strangeness. The plates came ringed in cinnamon (okay), sugar (normal) and parsley (huh?). Also the hashbrowns were the shredded kind but deep-fired. So they were, as Mandi described them, "like a pile of dry leaves." Tasty but hard to eat. Have you ever tried to eat Hickory Sticks with a fork? No. You wouldn’t because that’s impossible. I had to glue these potato leaves together with ketchup just to be able to eat them.

When we were asked ‒ by the manager, not our server ‒ how our meal was and we said everything was fine, she then said nervously, "Are you sure?" We again said yes and she left quickly and visibly relieved. This is when we started poking around for stray press-on nails in our potato leaves.

» I added a new title to the Ampersand Publishing store today. It’s a book of user manuals translated into poetry using Babelfish. It’s called The Light May Glitter.

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2 Responses to Respectacled, Waffled + Glittered

  1. ratboyrich says:

    two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a…waffle? Crazy.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Garnish

    There wasn’t sugar around the edge of my plate. I had cinnamon, dried parsley flakes and ginger powder. Also, I still seem to smell slightly of Wawfuls.

    -Mandi

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