Escape, zine, puns + first quiz in a long time

~ Today the Landlady is coming by with the Boilerman to kick up the furnace for the winter. I plan to be conspiculously absent as I don’t know if I can handle the landlady’s neurotic prattle on my own. Plus there’s a few pictures of Torontoddities I want to snap before they cease to exist.

~ The job search goes slow today (one posting to apply to: probably too far north; pays crappy) and the phone is eerily silent. So I’m starting a new zine called PLOG: P[aper B]log.

~ Nathan walked all the way to my place yesterday which is an insane feat of feet usage. He must have walked for longer than we hung out. He did slip me Adobe CS3 though which is, so far, a pretty sweet suite.

1.) What curse word do you use the most?
I’m a traditionalist: Fuck.

2.) Do you own an iPod?
No a meek little Creative MP3 player with a mere 256mb or something. It’s full at 60 songs on it at the moment. Nicole wants us to get a Nano to share though. I run iTunes on my laptop though.

3.) Who on your Facebook Top Friends do you talk to the most?
I don’t have “Top Friends” because it’s too MySpacey.

4.) What time is your alarm clock set for?
Either 5:55 or 6:46 depending on if Nicole is jogging that morning.

6.) Flip flops or sneakers?

7.) Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
When people take pictures of me I tend to look either retarded or like a lardwhale or sometimes a retarded lardwhale. So I take the pictures.

8.) What was the last movie you watched?
We’re watching Six Feet Under now until the forseen future.

9.) Do any of your friends have children?
Yes. Peter does. Helen does. Anyone else? I think Mike and Ade are going there.

10.) Has anyone ever called you lazy?
Everyone who’s ever been 16 and had a parent has been called lazy.

11.) Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster?
Nicole forced me to take something called Calms Forte a while back. When I was overweight and waking up with the heartburn, I used to try to knock myself out with valerian tea.

12.) What CD is currently in your CD player?
The new Radiohead… no that was download only… the new Neubauten advance… oh right download too… uh… I guess CocoRosie was the last CD I played.

13.) Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
Uh, chocolate milk is full of puss and blood, you morons.

14.) Has anyone told you a secret this week?
I hope not. Because no one told me they were secrets… It’s not my fault if I blab your secrets.

15.) Have you ever given someone a hickey?
Yes. When I was like 18.

16.) Who was the last person to call you?
My parents.

17.) Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
I’vemade a career of it.

18.) Did you watch cartoons as a child?
Nope. We didn’t have cable. This pissed me off my entire childhood. I felt cheated of my cultural right to watch Rocket Robinhood.

19.) How many siblings do you have?

20.) Are you shy around the opposite sex?
Only when I’m single.

21.) What movie do you know every line to?
Star Wars, Warriors, Streets of Fire, probably Breakfast Club if push came to shove.

22.) Do you own any band t-shirts?
Joy Division

23.) What is your favorite salad dressing?
Dressing is gross. Plus people eat salads because they’re healthy and then cover them in oil, bacon and cheese. I don’t get it.

24.) Do you read for fun?
I only read for fun.

25.) Do you cry alot?
No. I seem to ahve stopped crying. I don’t know if this is possitive for worrying.

27.) Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?
Lappy 486.

28.) Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoo?

29.) What is the weather like?
Let me check my iGoogle widget: 17C, Clear, wind SW at 3 km/h, 68% humidity.

30.) Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
Seems I am.

31.) Is sex before marriage wrong?
No more than marriage before sex.

32.) When was the last time you slept on the floor?
My bed is on the floor, so last night.

33.) How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
Between 8 and 10.

34.) Are you in love or lust?

35.) Are your days full and fast-paced?
I’m unemployed and trying to keep myself out of trouble.

36.) Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?
I do now.

37.) How old will you be turning on your next birthday?

38.) Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
Yes, but I don’t rea

39.) Have you ever been to Six Flags?
No. I only have a vague idea of what it is anyway.

40.) Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?
Meh. I get along better with people who aren’t rednecks or privilaged.

41.) Do you like Cottage Cheese?
No more than I like curdled vomit.

42.) Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back?

43.) Have you ever bid for something on eBay?
Yes. A Korg synth.

44.) Do you enjoy giving hugs?
No. I’m not a touchy-feely pervert, I mean, person.

45) What song did you last sing out loud?
I was singing along to Cheap Trick’s “Surrender” the other day while walking.

46) What is your favorite TV show?
Six Feet Under.

47) Which celebrity dead or alive would you want to have lunch with?
I’d like Tom Cruise to explain Scientology to me.

48) Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
The airport?

49) What one thing do you wish you had?
A job. Or a career. Or just shitloads of money. Or superpowers.

50) Favorite Lyrics?

I think…  “Famous Blue Raincoat” 

It’s four in the morning, the end of december
I’m writing you now just to see if you’re better
New york is cold, but I like where I’m living
There’s music on clinton street all through the evening.

I hear that you’re building your little house deep in the desert
You’re living for nothing now, I hope you’re keeping some kind of record.

Yes, and jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night that you planned to go clear
Did you ever go clear?

Ah, the last time we saw you you looked so much older
Your famous blue raincoat was torn at the shoulder
You’d been to the station to meet every train
And you came home without lili marlene

And you treated my woman to a flake of your life
And when she came back she was nobody’s wife.

[Famous Blue Raincoat lyrics on
Well I see you there with the rose in your teeth
One more thin gypsy thief
Well I see jane’s awake —

She sends her regards.
And what can I tell you my brother, my killer
What can I possibly say?
I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you
I’m glad you stood in my way.

If you ever come by here, for jane or for me
Your enemy is sleeping, and his woman is free.

Yes, and thanks, for the trouble you took from her eyes
I thought it was there for good so I never tried.

And jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night that you planned to go clear

— sincerely, l. cohen


9 Responses to Escape, zine, puns + first quiz in a long time

  1. Anonymous says:

    Good times always roll at Mister Rehlinger’s house

    i love how i always know you better after reading one of these quizzes of yours. i particularly loved your answer to the “hugs” question. You crack me up Mr. Rehlinger.


  2. atrophe says:

    today i meant to go to Kensington Market and ended up wandering to Yonge and back. I’m getting like 3 hours of walking a day lately. I need new shoes.

  3. dorothypoo says:

    maybe sometime soon you will “come out to play-eee-ahhh”

    and damn straight its full of puss and blood!!!

  4. nathandrama says:

    you kicked my ass with evaders

    i’m fresh out of consonants

  5. Anonymous says:

    “I think Mike and Ade are going there.”

    I’m just over 3 months pregnant, in fact!

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