Racoons, Girls and 18 Wheelers

~ Yesterday at lunch I met a racoon trying to cross the road. This racoon did not like cars. This racoon was very cute. This racoon may have had rabies.

~ Last night I saw a girl sing a song about another girl who pees during sex. Last night I saw another girl, drunk in a coffee shop, proclaim herself  “not a lesbian” and then hit on a lesbian. This girl liked my glasses and had a friend who looked like Courtney Love who also hit on said lesbian. This girl did not look as cracked-out as Courtney Love, just that she desired to be. The lesbian and I went outside for a smoke. I did not smoke. The lesbian smoked.

~ This morning I opened my front window just as an 18-wheeler zoomed past, filling my lungs with a blast of carbon monoxide. This 18-wheeler was just one of tens of thousands 18-wheelers speeding across North America spewing corbon monoxide into the lungs of millions of of men opening their windows and the lungs of racoons trying to cross busy residential streets and and the lungs of drunk girls who are not lesbians, but would be, for you, if you asked them to be.

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One Response to Racoons, Girls and 18 Wheelers

  1. charenton_ says:

    I almost peed myself laughing so hard. The best line was about the apparatus that she created for her friend to help her have sex.

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