Baby

~ Lisa, the woman who I work with, whose brother lost his thumb to the power-washer, has a friend whose baby is being taken off life-support and is expected to die today. She’s managed to work it into every conversation this morning.

D: “Lisa, what are we doing with these brochures?”
L: “We’re packing them up too. My friend’s baby is dying today.”
D: “So, should I put the brochures in the box with the flyers?”
L: “Yes, that’s what Linda wanted. It’s being taken off life-support. It was born sick.”

B: “Hey Lisa, did you get a hold of Brian?”
L: ” Yes, he says he has to talk to Derrick first before he can commit to advertising in Canada. My friend’s baby is dying today. It’s being taken off life-support. It was born sick.”
B: “Will we have an answer by Monday? We need to know by Monday.”
L: “Oh yes, he’s talking to Derrick as we speak. The baby can’t even hold its head up. He’s never been conscious; he doesn’t even know who she is.”
B: “Yeah, as long as we get an answer from Brian by Monday, we’re good.”

So far no one has wanted to talk to Lisa about her friend’s baby who is being taken off life-support and is going to die today. It was born sick, it’s never had the power to hold its own head up and it’s going to die today without ever knowing who its mother was. This external drama is not affecting the operations of the office at all. Exciting new methods for generating income are being devised and the methods already in place are being put into action while Lisa’s friend’s baby, who was born sick, is dying. It’s being taken off life-support and is unaware of all the money we’re raking in with all our exciting new methods of generating income.

Advertisements

8 Responses to Baby

  1. sounds like she’s preparing for a daytime tv appearance. you might as well get ready too. anyway, it’s sad about the baby.. nice post though.

  2. spam

    that last bit really sounds like some of the junk mail i get at work.

    dear sir,
    i represent a wealthy company looking to expand our market to the us. Exciting new methods for generating income are being devised and the methods already in place are being put into action while Lisa’s friend’s baby, who was born sick, is dying. It’s being taken off life-support and is unaware of all the money we’re raking in with all our exciting new methods of generating income.

    • mrdapper says:

      Re: spam

      fuck, you stumbled across my moonlighting gig as a spam-writer. I thought I could re-use some of my best material and no one would notice.

  3. carnivorissa says:

    is it bad that that is the hardest ive laughed in a long time. how can you make tragedy so funny?

  4. ratboyrich says:

    Oh man, was it karmacilly wrong that I laughed at that story?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: