~ Really, snow doesn’t affect my ability to do my job at all. Yet, when it’s snowing, I feel entirely demoralized and fully in the belief that there’s no purpose to me being here. Strange psychological association I have with the colour white I suppose.
Perhaps that’s why I don’t have white walls at home. Except in my studio where I’ve tried to carpet the walls with posters and snapshots. Might be why I have black dishes instead of white as well. I just realized I’ve been eating off my white dishes lately, and hating it.
I think the only place I like white is on paper. Off-white paper angers me. Anger might be a strong word. Depends on how off-white the paper is and how it’s being used. I get sort of a twitch in my right eye when I see off-white paper used poorly. It’s the same reaction I get to seeing a bad band. Off-white paper, used needlessly, is like seeing a second-rate Hedley.
It’s really white outside right now. I don’t feel like being here. I feel like being at home with my cat watching Star Trek. Except my DVD player doesn’t function anymore. And, actually, really I feel like being at home playing videogames with my girlfriend. Except I don’t have a girlfriend or a videogame console. Mostly I just want it to be April. I like April. April isn’t white or grey or that kind of rotten brown colour in the gutters and the streets.
It looks too clean outside. Like hospital clean. It makes me feel nervous, on edge, like I’m about to get a needle in the shoulder. I don’t even mind needles that much. Not half as much as I dislike snow and the sinister, stark whiteness of it all.