~ It appears I’ve been denied access to the Vancouver Ave Hallowe’en party. I got [not one but] TWO snarky replies to my RSVP.
~ I’ve gone down another belt hole. Which is beginning to make my jeans pleat by themselves. And pook like in that Larry David episode.
~ The Robo-coon costume is too daunting to begin construction of. Which means I’m leaving it until the last minute. Which is even more daunting. Compounded daunting. Daunting to the power of pi [maybe even pi squared].
1. Who is the last person you held hands with?
2. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?
Yes. I would go AWOL on the way to bootcamp.
3. Is so random, it went missing. Okay, I’ll make up a new one. How many fruit stickers on your computer monitor?
4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?
I have OJ. Milk is for babies. Baby cows.
5. Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Know. Knot liklee.
7. How fast can you type?
Faster than I can print. And more legibly too.
8. Are you afraid of the dark?
Fuck. I’ve totally done this survey before. Oh well, I’m commited now. Anyway, if I have a fever, I sometimes get freaked out.
9. Eye color?
Grey. Maybe turning blue again. There’s something wrong with my diet I bet.
11. When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
I had a bath last night so that I wouldn’t have to shower this morning because I decided I wanted to sleep in an extra 15 minutes.
12. Do you knock on wood?
If it’s a door.
13. Are you drinking anything right now?
Tepid coffee. Time for a warm up. Garçon!
15. Can you hoola hoop?
No. But I can hullabaloo very nicely, thanks.
16. Are you good at keeping secrets?
If by “good” you mean tell less than 6 people, yes.
17. What do you want for Christmas?
Two weeks off.
18. Do you know the Muffin Man?
I AM the muffin man, bitch.
19. Do you talk in your sleep?
Once I woke up moaning “Noooooooooo!” in an apparently terrified voice.
20. Who wrote the book of love?
There’s a book? Why didn’t anyone tell me? That explains it. I’ve only read The Book of Awkward and The Book of Fucking-up. I didn’t know there was a Book of Love… Anyone who wants to lend me this Book of Love… Jesus…
21. Have you ever flown a kite?
I have. It’s really not very fun, you know.
23. Do you consider yourself successful?
I’m somewhere lower-mid-level in my career. I’ve been [for all intents and purposes] divorced three times. I by-passed stardom [or even attempting to obtain it] and went directly into arrongant eccentric hermit songwriter mode. I pretty much rock.
24. How many people are on your contact list of your cell?
25. Have you ever asked for a pony?
I have been a “pony” various times in my life.
26. Plans for tomorrow?
Constructing Robo-coon headpiece.
28. Are you talking to anyone right now?
I’m concentrating on this survey obviously. I cannot multi-task.
29. When was the last time you told someone ‘I love you’?
How long ago was April? Though I may have said it platonically and drunkenly sometime since. Like to Ken or Mel.
31. How are you feeling today?
Unmotivated and alergenic.
32. Are you black?
My t-shirt and my coffee is.
33. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
I was suspended for “lewd gestures an choriography” in an airband contest in grade nine.
34. What are you looking forward to?
Sister Ray practice tonight.
35. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Lots. Usually ending up on my head.
38. Can you handle the truth?
Yes. I expect the worst so the truth is usually a relief.
39. Do you like green eggs and ham?
Seuss is da bomb. But if I were served them at a restaurant I would probably vom in my fist.
40. What 3 things you always bring w/ you to places?
Keys, wallet, fear.
41. Any cool scars?
Self inflicted wrist burn scarification. Oh… cool scars. No.
42. Do you like or have a crush on anyone? Do they know?
I have it bad. I can’t see how they could not know. But I think they actually might not.
43. How many kids do you plan on having?
I’m focussing on the wife first. I’ll let you know about kids later.
44. What do you do when no one is watching?
I live alone so pretty much everything. Right now, no one is watching me do this survey. But apparently in the new office, there’s going to be cameras everywhere.
45. Have you ever been in love?
As Bon Jovi sang, “In and Out of Love!”
46. Do you talk to yourself?
More of a mutter really. I talk to my cat though.
47. Is there something you want that you can’t have?
48. Three things about the opposite sex that you first notice?
Social class, Eyes, intelligence level.
49. Who are you thinking about right now?
My boss. Wondering if he’s standing behind me. No, he’s not. What was that noise then?
50. Who did you last hug?
51. Where is your phone?
At home on the floor.
52. What was the last thing you ate?
53. What is your fav. color?
Electric Ice Blue. or Crimson Fire Passion Red.
55. What is the last movie watched?
The Devil and Daniel Johnston.
56. What song do you currently hear?
“Fall” by Bleach.
57. What do you want?
The universal things. Security, love, recognition of my genius.
58. Would you ever date anyone on your friends list?
For sure. There’s some quality people on there. That doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be a disaster.
59. What TV Show are you watching?
Star Trek original series on DVD.
60. What color is your cell phone?