Daunted and un-haunted

~ It appears I’ve been denied access to the Vancouver Ave Hallowe’en party. I got [not one but] TWO snarky replies to my RSVP.

~ I’ve gone down another belt hole. Which is beginning to make my jeans pleat by themselves. And pook like in that Larry David episode. 

~ The Robo-coon costume is too daunting to begin construction of. Which means I’m leaving it until the last minute. Which is even more daunting. Compounded daunting. Daunting to the power of pi [maybe even pi squared].

60 supposedly random questions we’ve all answered before.

1. Who is the last person you held hands with?

Melissa.

2. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?
Yes. I would go AWOL on the way to bootcamp.

3. Is so random, it went missing. Okay, I’ll make up a new one. How many fruit stickers on your computer monitor?
56

4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?
I have OJ. Milk is for babies. Baby cows.

5. Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Know. Knot liklee.

7. How fast can you type?
Faster than I can print. And more legibly too.

8. Are you afraid of the dark?
Fuck. I’ve totally done this survey before. Oh well, I’m commited now. Anyway, if I have a fever, I sometimes get freaked out.

9. Eye color?
Grey. Maybe turning blue again. There’s something wrong with my diet I bet.

11. When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
I had a bath last night so that I wouldn’t have to shower this morning because I decided I wanted to sleep in an extra 15 minutes.

12. Do you knock on wood?
If it’s a door.

13. Are you drinking anything right now?
Tepid coffee. Time for a warm up. Garçon!

15. Can you hoola hoop?
No. But I can hullabaloo very nicely, thanks.

16. Are you good at keeping secrets?
If by “good” you mean tell less than 6 people, yes.

17. What do you want for Christmas?
Two weeks off.

18. Do you know the Muffin Man?
AM the muffin man, bitch.

19. Do you talk in your sleep?
Once I woke up moaning “Noooooooooo!” in an apparently terrified voice.

20. Who wrote the book of love?
There’s a book? Why didn’t anyone tell me? That explains it. I’ve only read The Book of Awkward and The Book of Fucking-up. I didn’t know there was a Book of Love… Anyone who wants to lend me this Book of Love… Jesus…

21. Have you ever flown a kite?
I have. It’s really not very fun, you know.

23. Do you consider yourself successful?
I’m somewhere lower-mid-level in my career. I’ve been [for all intents and purposes] divorced three times. I by-passed stardom [or even attempting to obtain it] and went directly into arrongant eccentric hermit songwriter mode. I pretty much rock.

24. How many people are on your contact list of your cell?
1 billion.

25. Have you ever asked for a pony?
I have been a “pony” various times in my life.

26. Plans for tomorrow?
Constructing Robo-coon headpiece.

28. Are you talking to anyone right now?
I’m concentrating on this survey obviously. I cannot multi-task.

29. When was the last time you told someone ‘I love you’?
How long ago was April? Though I may have said it platonically and drunkenly sometime since. Like to Ken or Mel.

31. How are you feeling today?
Unmotivated and alergenic.

32. Are you black?
My t-shirt and my coffee is.

33. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
I was suspended for “lewd gestures an choriography” in an airband contest in grade nine.

34. What are you looking forward to?
Sister Ray practice tonight.

35. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Lots. Usually ending up on my head.

38. Can you handle the truth?
Yes. I expect the worst so the truth is usually a relief.

39. Do you like green eggs and ham?
Seuss is da bomb. But if I were served them at a restaurant I would probably vom in my fist.

40. What 3 things you always bring w/ you to places?
Keys, wallet, fear.

41. Any cool scars?
Self inflicted wrist burn scarification. Oh… cool scars. No.

42. Do you like or have a crush on anyone? Do they know?
I have it bad. I can’t see how they could not know. But I think they actually might not.

43. How many kids do you plan on having?
I’m focussing on the wife first. I’ll let you know about kids later.

44. What do you do when no one is watching?
I live alone so pretty much everything. Right now, no one is watching me do this survey. But apparently in the new office, there’s going to be cameras everywhere.

45. Have you ever been in love?
As Bon Jovi sang, “In and Out of Love!”

46. Do you talk to yourself?
More of a mutter really. I talk to my cat though.

47. Is there something you want that you can’t have?
Apparently yes.

48. Three things about the opposite sex that you first notice?
Social class, Eyes, intelligence level.

49. Who are you thinking about right now?
My boss. Wondering if he’s standing behind me. No, he’s not. What was that noise then?

50. Who did you last hug?
Adrienne.

51. Where is your phone?
At home on the floor.

52. What was the last thing you ate?
“Fruit+Veggie” bar.

53. What is your fav. color?
Electric Ice Blue. or Crimson Fire Passion Red.

55. What is the last movie watched?
The Devil and Daniel Johnston.

56. What song do you currently hear?
“Fall” by Bleach.

57. What do you want?
The universal things. Security, love, recognition of my genius.

58. Would you ever date anyone on your friends list?
For sure. There’s some quality people on there. That doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be a disaster.

59. What TV Show are you watching?
Star Trek original series on DVD.

60. What color is your cell phone?
CMYK

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42 Responses to Daunted and un-haunted

  1. ratboyrich says:

    Time to buy new pants.
    It’s oh so fun when you spend most of your disposable income on clothes like you’re Cher from ‘Clueless’.

    • mrdapper says:

      I think I have plenty of pants on my shelf which I can either fit into again or will soon. Though… they’re probably really ratty and old. I’m hoping to not have to buy a new wardrobe.

  2. ratboyrich says:

    Time to buy new pants.
    It’s oh so fun when you spend most of your disposable income on clothes like you’re Cher from ‘Clueless’.

  3. mrdapper says:

    I think I have plenty of pants on my shelf which I can either fit into again or will soon. Though… they’re probably really ratty and old. I’m hoping to not have to buy a new wardrobe.

  4. atrophe says:

    i’m envisioning something hilariously inappropriate from your costume name

  5. atrophe says:

    i’m envisioning something hilariously inappropriate from your costume name

  6. mrdapper says:

    RACOON! Why does everyone instantly think I’m going to be a robotic Benson or something. If I was going to be inappropriate I’d just go for it and be Niggabot.

  7. mrdapper says:

    This just in: next year I’m totally going as a robotic Benson.

  8. bootybrown says:

    Van Ave. isn’t the Sheds’ party, is it?

  9. bootybrown says:

    Van Ave. isn’t the Sheds’ party, is it?

  10. mrdapper says:

    No. I’m still allowed there. As far as I know.

  11. ratboyrich says:

    Not from what I heard.

  12. ratboyrich says:

    I was thinking Robotic George Jefferson myself.

  13. mrdapper says:

    That would simplify my life greatly.

  14. kenholiday says:

    did i send a snarky reply ? or was it two from jennifer ?

    ofcourse your welcome, jake… but you have no plus ones… jennifers games list is already overloaded. plus onse require weeks of notice.

  15. kenholiday says:

    and you never picked up those fuckign cd’s.

  16. mrdapper says:

    t’was jennifer who sent both. i don’t think i have a plus one to bring. o’ll pick up the cd’s asap. but not tonight.

  17. ninjaj says:

    Come to my party. Except it’ll just be me, Pat, and a bunch of cardboard Jakobs. You’ll fit right in!

  18. mrdapper says:

    You may have noticed those cardboard Jakobs are not very good at conversation. I think I’ll decline.

  19. ninjaj says:

    Fine, decline. We’re not really having a party anyway. While everyone is celebrating Halloween this weekend, we’re going to hear Jello Biafra lecture. And then I work early in the morning. But if we were really having a party, you’d still be invited, and we would invite other people (real people) too.

  20. mrdapper says:

    I saw him speak back in ’93 or so. It was a trip. I also made Petra listen to all his spoken word albums on our road trip to and from San Francisco. Ha!

  21. aporia says:

    i got a snarky msg from jennifer too. but she didn’t ban me! what did you do?

  22. aporia says:

    i’ve seen jello four or five times.
    the way he constantly spits into a kleenex gives me the willies. i could never figure out why he does that.
    but otherwise i like the guy!

    p.s. thanks for the card! i’m a little behind on correspondence but i will catch up.

  23. mrdapper says:

    She didn’t ban me. More like: “Don’t you have BETTER parties to go to???” and then didn’t actually say I could come. So I assumed. Ken has since confirmed my invite but I am banned from bringing guests.

  24. ninjaj says:

    Are you kidding? I was like, two months behind on sending that card! No worries!

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